ROUND-UP: FREAKIEST ETSY FINDS

Have you ever wondered where you could get five plastic fetuses? What about an illustration of Steve Buscemi as an earth worm? Etsy, known for all its cutesy and crafty charm, has more to offer you than meets the eye. We rounded up some of the most disturbing (and hilarious) finds to bring you the creepiest stuff you can buy on Etsy.

 

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5 Creepy Rubber Fetuses, Pink

At a standard rate of $15.50 you can own five rubber fetuses, which the seller insures are “very squeezable,” in case that was a concern.

KimK


Kim Kardashian Crying Face iPhone Case Cover

Who wouldn’t want Kim Kardishian’s crying face on their cell? It saves you the time of rewinding your DVR just to rewatch her freak out on Lord Disick… I mean Scott.

 

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Magic Unicorn Bacon

According to the seller of this glorious meat product, you can actually buy “magical unicorn bacon.” Is it just me or were you at least expecting some type of rainbow food coloring to be involved with that title?

Gourd


Creepy Gourd Wall Street Businessman Print

This frightening image is sure to warm up your studio apartment. Who doesn’t love a dried-out squash portraying the true essence of corporate America?

Steve


Steve Buscemi As An Earth Worm

This simply titled piece might haunt it’s recipient in their sleep, but the seller thinks it would be fantastic as a “Get Well Soon” card. Nothing says “feel better” like Buscemi’s face on a spineless organism.

Intestinejarnecklace


Intestines In A Jar Necklace

Trying to avoid talking to anyone at your next social gathering? Wear this lovely vile filled with intestine shaped clay. More of a brain or heart in a jar type of gal? The seller says they’re coming soon!!

 

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Oops – The Dog Did it – Poop Soap

Forget that boutique soap bar that smells like lemon verbena. This feces-shaped soap is scentless, and ready to sanitize your hands. The seller promises that it will be sent in attractive packaging. Perfect for gifting!

cattoysperm

 Cat Nip Toys Shaped As Sperm

For $8.00 your feline companion can enjoy one 100% organic cat nip toy that is sure to creep out you and everyone else that comes to your home.

cashmereundies

 Cashmere Undies

This fabulous find promises to keep you warm, while still ensuring breathability. At $48.00, I don’t think you could ask for more.

21 QUESTIONS: CLAIR CATILLAZ OF CLAM LAB

 

Every morning when I sit down to thug BBC/Gawker/Bossip, I fix a proper bowl of cereal with my Clam Lab “everything” bowl. Brooklynite Clair Catillaz hand throws each piece on a human-powered kick wheel and finishes it off with hand-mixed, food safe glazes. FACT: Regular use improves the taste of food.

CLAM LAB can be found on restaurant and kitchen tables worldwide, and has been recognized in a range of media outlets including: FastCompany, Inc, Wilder Quarterly, Remodelista, and NY Magazine. So we were pretty flattered when she started answering our texts.

So, what’s up?

I’m trying to get a handle on my horoscope. I’m currently trapped in Brooklyn which is technically Long Island.

Can we get you something to drink?

No thanks. Well, ok.

What are you wearing?

Caftan.

Are you interested in anyone right now?

I have a crush on every boy.

Do anything last night?

Made glaze, dinner, love.

How late did you stay up?

I guess you could say that I’m “over” time.

Meals or snacks?

Meals.

How often do you consume alcohol?

What is this, The Purity Test?

You kissed a girl and liked it?

Maybe I did and maybe I did.

Has anyone seen you naked recently?

Yeah.

Please don’t touch that.

God Dennison, you are such a prude.

What’s on your feet?

Purple socks

Blue or black ink?

Black. Blue is frivolous and not to be taken seriously.

Ever sit down in the shower?

Lying down in the shower is the bomb but you have to make the water just a little bit hotter so that it’s the right temp when it hits.

When was the last time you really froke out at someone?

August 25th. It was really uncalled for.

What was the first thing you said aloud this morning?

“It’s morning”

Are you listening to music right now?

Todd Rundgren’s “a wizard, a true star” on repeat.

Will you text the person you like today?

I texted you, and all I got was this phony interview.

If we gave you $50, what would you buy?

I’d probably just blow it all on fancy produce.

Last three google searches?

Gerstley borate, buffalo china, Craig Spittle

What are you doing later?

Sleeping

Can we come?

Fine, but you have to snuggle.

 

photos by Becky McNeel